You're my little dorito
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
The bouncer called to give me my shoes back when I got there he said " I'm all cool with fuvking bitches but when you try to to do it in my bar on the pool table you're gonna get chocked out every time"
At least you got your shooes
I was giving a campus tour, when a drunk senior came up behind me and shouted at the group, "If Jesus ain't your homeboy - get the fuck off this campus!" Looks like his religion course is paying off...
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
Randomize
