I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
this just has baby written all over it
a garbage man just dropped off my phone and wallet. he found them in the trash this morning.
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
Just realized my relationship wasn't even Facebook official and I'd already cheated on him. 'Shitty girlfriend' is an understatement.
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
Randomize
