Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
I am in the checkout line at the dollar store and there is a guy in front of me holding a pregnancy test, a chocolate bar, and fake roses. Champion.
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
