I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
Randomize
