cannot fit in my clothes. too depressed to drink.
if you drink enough to puke, it's like a weight loss plan.
Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
Randomize
