i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
i'm too stoned to be pregnant. the kicking is morse code for wanting beef jerky.
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
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