I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
Randomize
