There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
She said she wants to move in with me. Time to black out and act as if we never had this conversation.
How are you a firefighter? People actually trust you with their lives??
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
Randomize
