Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"?
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
God gave him joint rollers for hands
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
Randomize
