And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend?
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
Hi. This might be awkward, but I met you on saturday at about 330 am. I have to admit I don't remember your name, what we talked about, or various details of how I got home. What I do remember is that I was invested enough in getting your number to ask my cab driver for a pen to write it down since my phone was dead. So do you want to meet, soberer, some time?
Hey bro I think you got the wrong number I'm a dude
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
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