She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
Change the recording on your voicemail. He found your number and my ass print on the car hood.
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
I pay 3K a month for rent, yet last nite I broke into the back of my building, scaled over 2 tons of garbage in heels and took a dirty freight elevator to my floor just so my doorman wouldn't see how fucked up I was
U know ur prob on camera right?
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
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