I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me.
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
Randomize
