i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
Randomize
