apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
My life has hit rock bottom, I'm watching a movie on lifetime about retarded people falling in love. And I'm jealous of their relationship.
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
Randomize
