You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
I'm at McDonalds and when I walked up to the register the guy said "I'm so sorry." Before I said a word. That's how bad my hangover is.
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
he laminated a picture of his dick.
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
Randomize
