I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
My mom gets in bar fights. She doesn't go to bed early.
Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
"Don't get as drunk as I was on my birthday" has been upgraded from a goal for Friday night to a goal for my life in general.
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
Pro tip: if you can avoid puking on your carpet, do so. Cleaning it up is absolutely no fun at all.
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
Randomize
