I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
Thank you for holding my vodka while the police let me ride their horse.
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
Randomize
