please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
Somewhere between the 30 minutes of cunnilingus, the improvised song about the Olympics, and the super thoughtful shower beer... I knew I married the right guy
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
In light of your oncoming completion of twenty-three years of personhood, I feel a pressing need to blast country-pop phenomenon Taylor Swift's hit single "22" in your general direction until midnight.
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
Randomize
