come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
Since you didn't call me back last night, I can only assume that in 9 months you're going to have a child that I'm going to refer to as, "Daddy's little mistake in Miami."
She just used a chaser for red wine.
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
Binging muscle relaxers because when ur 33 you can no longer SHAKE IT LIKE A POLAROID PICTURE for 2hrs w/o consequences. Fuck you, Age.
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
Randomize
