I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
...okay, you can't just say 'masturbating llama' and not explain yourself
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
Randomize
