Swine flu is the new snow day.
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
Randomize
