You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
Just had a nice conversation with my landlord while cleaning your puke off my car
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
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