Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
Randomize
