Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
Randomize
