hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Back of his car in the Starbucks parking lot WITH HIS APRON STILL ON. Check and Mate.
Holy shit. You won barista bingo AND the Triple Crown in one day.
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
Randomize