every time i drive by the road she lives on, i scream in the car "i'm sorry i'm sleeping with your boyfriend!" makes me feel less whore-y.
New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
I'm already too high to be publicly presentable. I just looked at myself in the mirror without my sunglasses. Debated contacts. Said aloud "But I'm nothing without my sunglasses."
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
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