We should be called the Road Head Warriors
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
Randomize
