I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
I fell asleep in my underwear on the deck. What the fuck.
This was the best text I've ever woken up to
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
Randomize
