What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
I'm disproportionately drunk. But I also spelled disproportionately right twice so maybe I'm not that drunk
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
Randomize
