apparently i ate an entire bag of goldfish, kissed some guy with a girlfriend who now wants to kill me, made my sister sleep in my bed with me while i wore no pants, and told my whole family i am pregnant with jonny's devil baby...never drinking again
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
Randomize
