did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
I guess I fist pumped too hard. I hit my mom in the face and now we're sitting in the ER.
When we told the nurse what happened, she replied with "OH, Well you don't look Italian to me!"
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
Randomize
