Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
Have a booty call at 3am, stopped for tacos at 2:30. It's 2:55 and I still haven't ordered but can't jump the curb to get out of line because there is a cop in front of me. What am I doing with my life?
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
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