I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
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