It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
I'm gonna have to start putting baby wipes and a change of pants in my bag. The amount of times I'm scared of shitting my pants in public is too high and I need the reassurance
Randomize
