We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
[insert really romantic bullshit about how much i love you and how beautiful you are so you will suck my dick tonight]
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
Fuck this. I'm adopting 12 cats and naming them after the 12 disciples. Maybe Jesus will have sympathy for me then.
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