Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
Simple math equation: Up till 5 a.m. drinking + up at 9 a.m. for nephews birthday party = puking in the pool
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
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