He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
the intervention consisted of my aunt taking me to chuck-e-cheezs and telling me that this was my future - either as a mom or as a waitress - unless i stopped fucking around.
did she buy you pizza?
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
If you’re wondering why the bong is outside the garage door just know I was being environmentally efficient by not using the freezer to chill my shit
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
Randomize
