just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
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