Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
You caught me at a bad time. I'm stoned enough that I'm ready to sleep but also not stoned enough that I wanna smoke again but also stoned enough to not wanna drive anywhere
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
Randomize
