have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
Randomize
