Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
The chlamydia really affected his face.
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
My hangover didn't kick in until like 4pm so I found myself puking in the middle of Times Square. During rush hour. In a three piece suit. A spongebob came by and patted me on the back.
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
Randomize
