2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
The sales associate looked at me funny for wobbling in the heels i was trying on until i told her i was trying to see how well i'd be able to drunk walk in these tonight
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
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