I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
And my parents said I crawled through the house
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
Why are your pants in the freezer?
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