Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
Randomize
