What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
Randomize
