Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
I just saw a midget ride by on a scooter...wearing a bowtie and a helmet. My life is complete.
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
Randomize
