lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
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