Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
Fyi: he's overweight and balding. My biological clock is ticking so loud I can't hear the TV.
Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
Dude, I work in two hours. Unless you can find Chris Hemsworth and convince him to have a three-way with us, I'm not getting out of bed.
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
Randomize
