I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
I cagt a turtle and named him squirt. He's in my bathtub Caleb is feeding me peaches! This is the most beautiful vodka Thursday ever!
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
Randomize
