You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
Randomize
