A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
Randomize
