Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
Skipping work because i'm still too drunk from last night still. got home at midnight and passed out in front of my door for 2 hours bc i couldn't find my key
had to call my rooommate to let us in. Passed out in my dress and found the key on my hair tie-in my hair- just now.
Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
I thought I was drunk because I kept grabbing his arm instead of his dick
But then I realized it wasn’t his arm and that I was very lucky
Randomize
