In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
My one night stand asked me out to dinner. When he came to pick me up I got in the back seat. I thought he sent an uber. Awkward.
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
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