I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
he high fived his dick after we had sex
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