I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
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