white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
It's 5am and I come home to you naked on the kitchen table and 3 people I never saw before fucking on the back porch ... and my weed gummy worms are gone. fuck you I'm taking your mom's offer
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
I love Texas men! TSA agent found my vibrator, nodded approvingly, and said, “You have a nice night, ma’am” with a cowboy accent. I almost made out with him on the spot
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