yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
Dude, this old lady messaged me on Facebook talking about her grandson and wanted to know shit about me. I'd almost call her a cougar except she looks like mashed potatoes that have come alive.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
How I know that I'm single: when I get a save the date for a wedding & I read "& guest" my first thought was does my bottle of Jack Daniels count.
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
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