I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
the bastard is cheating on me with some sleazy barista from Starbucks
That’s his wife they’re back together
You say potato, I say sleazy barista
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