i think my mom watched the whole time
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
So I took a screenshot of my boarding pass and the TSA agent somehow swiped it to the next photo. Yep...TSA saw my dick before I even went through the body scanner.
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
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