This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
Randomize
