Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
I was the only open register tonight and I just sold condoms and chocolate frosting to the ex..
Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
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