so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
I ate the last cupcake. I'm sorry. It was in the refrigerator mocking me. So I ate it. And it was glorious. But I'm sorry.
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
Randomize
