am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Randomize
