we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
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Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
That moment half way through a run when you realize you have to take a giant shit. I was racing against my bowels that last mile. Now my sweat is suctioning my ass to this toilet seat. Enjoy that NSA.
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
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Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
I just walked into my kitchen and my little brother is standing with his face two inches from the clock, staring at it, and eating an apple. I asked wtf he was doing and he just goes "the hour hand is moving VERY slowly".
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
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