Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
Mom said you looked used
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
You know you're getting old when 19 year olds you've met on tinder advise you that you should start looking for a wife and/or the mother of your children
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
Randomize
