do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
her facebook's as public as her vagina
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
Is it sad that I woke up to more "Happy Holidays" texts on 4/20 than I did on Christmas?
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
Randomize
