i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
Randomize
