i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
Let's just say that in a last ditch effort to avoid getting arrested I said to the cop "but I'm not even that drunk" and he proceeded to point out (in front of a crowd) that I had "fucking pissed my pants"
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
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