i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
I look better un-naked...
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Taco trucks are like ice cream trucks for drunk adults. They should have a mariachi tune they play super loud to bring people out of the bars for tacos.
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
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